Friday, June 24, 2011

trailer | Real Steel

DROID RAGE | So, you saw The Fighter, and you thought it was okay and all, but you wondered how it would play with its title role filled by an actual robot instead of human robot Mark Wahlberg. You're in luck, because four months from now will see the release of REAL STEEL, a futuristic channeling of Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots into the heartwarming story of a hapless promoter (Hugh Jackman) who reconnects with his young son (mini-Bieber Dakota Goyo) by dragging the kid through a seedy underworld of gambling, physical assault, coercion, and machine-on-machine violence. I think I know someone who's a shoo-in for Father of the Year! Anyway, the marketing on this thing isn't doing much for me. The tagline? "Courage is stronger than steel." Zzzzz. These suggestions are way better, and I'll sell them to DreamWorks for a reasonable price:

  • "This fall, steel is real as shit just got."
  • "This fall, you will believe a robot can beat up another robot."
  • "We sorta finagled a way to put Wolverine in a Transformers movie. Thank us after your multiple orgasms, fanboys."
  • "If you like Rocky, but you think Burgess Meredith isn't quite as sexy as Hugh Jackman, you'll love Real Steel."
  • "This robot doesn't turn into a Camaro or an F-22, but it does box, so there's that."
  • "From a director who isn't Michael Bay, weirdly."
  • "At least the video game might be good."

Also, the title is hardly badass enough. Based on the recurring motifs in this incredibly exciting trailer, I came up with one that's much more apropos: Fist Pump: The Motion Picture. Call me, DreamWorks. It's free with the purchase of any three taglines. —Jasper

If you must: Real Steel opens October 7.

No comments:

Post a Comment