TROPIC BLUNDER | Gargantuan bees. Gratuitous 3D. Classic adventure novels adapted into a wacky theme-park-ride narrative by the writers of a straight-to-DVD Bring It On sequel. A former wrestler in the lead role. Michael Caine’s most blatant money-and-run appearance since Jaws: The Revenge. Acknowledging this wall-to-wall ridiculousness, could it be that JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND is a deliberate attempt to make the Scorncastiest movie ever? Or do Jasper and co-host Ghostface Millah lack the fervid industry clout necessary to inspire such pandering? And if so, in which desert cave can they locate the evil genie who will grant them this power? Why is Josh Hutcherson’s last name so flipping hard to pronounce? Is the Pec Pop of Love a legitimate flirtation technique? And how do septuagenarians build the awesomest treehouses? Click the Scorncast banner below for the answers to absolutely none of these questions!
■■■ Showing in 3D and 2D. Rating: PG. Running time: 94 minutes.
Scorncast #38: Scorn of the Jungle (30:50)
original music by Bug